Invasion of the Geriatric Accordion Players

For what seems like a couple of years now, I've noticed a strange event going on in various malls here in Puerto Rico.

Usually I see this old man with an accordion walking through the food court of a mall playing some unrecognizable piece of music while making faces like Carlos Santana squeezing notes out of his guitar. He would walk S-L-O-W-L-Y through the court looking for tips and looking like he was on the verge of a music induced orgasm.

At first, this annoying old man would just be confined to the one mall. Then one day I saw him at another major mall doing exactly the same thing. I thought to myself, "The old man really gets around."

It wasn't until I saw him at yet ANOTHER mall that I started to get a bit concerned. Was he following me? Was he *GASP* some kind of clone? Could there be some kind of alien invasion going on? Are aliens using strange accordion music to somehow turn our brains to mush?!

Then one day I really freaked out. I went to the mall where I had originally seen the old man. There he was, grinding away like a geriatric Weird Al Yankovic. I got out of there as fast as I could and made my way to another mall. Lo and behold! There he was again!!! What the heck?!

What really got to me was later that night I went to yet ANOTHER mall closer to my home and , yes, you guessed it, THERE HE WAS AGAIN!!!

So, my theory is this: either he's hitching a ride in the trunk of my car unbeknownst to me, or...

WE'RE BEING INVADED BY ACCORDION PLAYING ALIEN CLONES!!!!!!