This has been boiling up in me for a while now. I see it on the news practically every day, from all over the States. I know it's going on in other countries, and if what I see going on the States can be used as a measuring rod, what's going on in the rest of the world is truly frightening.
Children being kidnapped from their homes. Children being killed left and right. Many by their own parents. Children gone missing from their schools, stores, playgrounds etc. WHY?! What possible reason could someone have to harm these kids?
A mom recently shot her kids to death because they were talking back to her. Hello! They're teens. That kind of crap happens all the time in most families. You get mad, you yell, you scold, you punish. You DON'T pull triggers on your own kids!
Another mom drowns her kids in her car. Another one kills her daughter and hides the body in the trunk of her car before burying the body. An adopted father kills his daughter and then douses his son in chemicals to kill him too.
Here in Puerto Rico we're following a case of a little 5 year old boy who was killed in his own home. His mother claims he fell out of bed. Forensics say he was hit by a blunt object. The case has been ongoing for a year now with no clear resolutions in sight.
Daily I see cases of child abuse reported on the evening news. Daily I see reports of kids being killed by irresponsible parents (and I use that term lightly). At first it was a case here and there. Adam Walsh in '81 probably opened the gates a bit and let people know just how much cases like these occurred.
Then Jon Benet Ramsey's case opened the floodgates entirely and ever since we've been hit with case after case after case of children being killed by their parents, the very people entrusted to care for them, to raise, them. TO PROTECT THEM! And the question remains...WHY? It's gotten to the point where I can't bear to watch the news for fear of seeing Nancy Grace reporting another case.
If you can't handle the responsibility of raising a child, you have a few options:
1- don't get pregnant in the first place
2- if you did get pregnant, and you don't want the child, give the child up for adoption. There are many GOOD families out there who will take great care of them.
3- if you don't want the responsibility of raising a child, DON'T adopt one. DON'T become a foster parent.
Abortion, in my book, is never an option. That's a topic for another blog post.
I for one can't understand how a parent could possibly go to the extreme of actually killing their kids. Yes, I can understand getting so pissed off that you'd lose your temper. I have two kids of my own, and while I admit to being a bit heavy handed in my spanking when they misbehave, I don't think I'd EVER go to the extreme of plotting to kill them. God gave me these kids for a reason. Sure, raising an autistic child is a challenge. Raising a hyper-intelligent daughter who inherited her father's temper is no cake-walk either. But we manage. We TALK to our kids. We explain to them why what they do is wrong and how to make things right. We teach our kids moral values not just with words but with our actions. Yes, there are spankings at times, but those spanking have become fewer and fewer as they've grown older and learned what is expected of them in the family and society. We as parents have grown as well.
No one is born an expert in parenting. There is no manual, no guide book. We all learn on the job and change the rules as we go along, replacing old, obsolete rules for newer ones. But we all start from scratch.
At night my wife reads bedtime stories to our daughter (sometimes I fill in for her). There is always a tickle-fest at night where I make my kids laugh until they can't take it anymore (helps them to sleep faster, too. Pure exhaustion). I try not to let them go to bed thinking that I'm angry at them. Every night I tuck my kids in and kiss them goodnight. Every day the first thing they hear out of my mouth is "Have a good day. I love you!". Every night the last thing they hear is "Good night. God bless. I love you". So the first thing they feel in the morning is love and good wishes from their parents. The last things they think of before falling asleep are laughter and love.
Yes, I get angry at them. I punish them and take away privileges for a while. I calmly explain to them that just because I punished them, it doesn't mean that I stopped loving them.
And when my son goes online and starts downloading questionable content from YouTube, despite our warnings against doing so,or when my daughter throws one of her tantrums, I do not reach for a gun or a knife or some gasoline to pour over them. I scold, I might yell a bit, I punish. But I never, EVER, threaten to kill them.
Our kids are a blessing, whether you believe in God or not, they are a blessing. A gift. An endless responsibility. They can be a source of great joy one moment and great disappointment the next. They can drive you nuts at times and sometimes (in the case of teens) you'll be the ones driving them nuts. But just how far we let them take us to the edge depends entirely on US. WE are the adults. WE are the ones who should know more about self-restraint. WE are the ones who MUST set an example, a template, for our kids to follow. Nothing fills me with more joy as when my kids come to me and say I'm they're best friend or when they come and give me hugs and kisses WITHOUT my having to ask them to. Nothing gives me more pride than seeing their accomplishments whether it be in school or play or simply learning to tie their shows or making some new works of art.
The bottom line is we as a people have to learn to love our kids again. Somewhere along the way kids became a tax write-off instead of a chance to make our world a better place. If there are to be guns in their lives then let US as parents be the guns and let the kids be the bullets. We aim them at the target and hope they hit it. We must break the chain of hate and abuse against our children, otherwise all they'll learn is how to hate and bully and abuse their own kids.
I was a victim of child abuse. Back in the 60's and 70's nobody really gave a crap about how parents raised their kids. We would arrive at school full of bruises and the teachers wouldn't ask. Actually some teachers would actually use corporal punishment themselves (not just the ruler-wielding Catholic nuns either). I guess that's why so many parents today show so little respect for their kids. I for one am trying my hardest to break that chain.
I pray that there are other parents out there who feel the same as I do about their kids.
Now, if you'll excuse me. I have some hugs and kisses and tickles to administer to my kids.
