The other day I went to the bathroom, just like I do every day. I noticed a guy in the urinal next to me. One of his hands was resting against the wall int the typical "male holding the wall while he pees" stance. The other hand was gesticulating in the way all Puertorricans do while talking. So obviously I had no reason to believe he was talking on a celphone while I overheard him saying the following:
"You KNOW I love you. You're the greatest thing to happen to me. I love you SO much. You're the most beautiful thing in my life. You mean so much to me." And more words to that effect.
I just mumbled a bit too loudly, "Dude, play with it, don't talk to it"
At which point the guy turns towards me and I notice the damned flashing blue light in his right ear. Yes, he WAS talking on the phone.
Do you remember when, not so long ago, if someone was walking down the street talking to himself, he was considered a nut case? Now with this bluetooth technology, people resemble strange robots with blinking blue ears.
And it's bad enough that these bluetooth addicted people are a safety hazard on the road while driving. But have you ever been plowed into by one of these nutjobs while WALKING down the hallway? Or while shopping in the supermarket? They can't even concentrate on WALKING while they have these blinking blue lights stuck in their ears. It's like they're escapees from a Doctor Who episode.
I know of a concert promoter here in Puerto Rico who's initials are L.S.. The man walks around with a blinkie in his ear and about 4 or 5 celphones on his belt and in his pocket. I often wonder what would happen to him if he had them all set to vibrate and they all went off at once. He'd probably get electrocuted. Either that or his blue blinkie will overload and fry his brain.
Although judging from what I've seen of others like him, the brains are already fried and have been replaced by the blue blinkie. Maybe Bluetooth is the name of some evil alien entity who's trying to take over the world one brain at a time. Doctor Who indeed. Remember the Cybermen?
Hey, you never know.
Shameless Plug
Friday, December 7, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Credit woes
We all have credit problems of one sort or another. Nowadays, what with the economy the way it is, we're all in debt to some degree. That's why my wife and I signed up for a consolidated credit program 4 years ago. What we didn't quite realize at the time was how much more damage these things can do to your credit. Especially if the consolidators don't post your payments on time. You get hassled by the credit card companies every month and you end up getting a history of late payments.
Uggghhh!
So it's no wonder why my credit is currently a bit wonky.
Last month my wife and I were forced to trade in our clunky Chevy Venture for a more economical and less troublesome car. Problem was, we couldn't trade in the car and buy a new one because of our credit. Frustrating to say the least. We finally managed to get a new Mitsubishi Lancer on lease, but the humiliation of being turned down for loans etc. was still there.
To make matters worse, practically every month for the past 11 years, my father-in-law keeps getting prepaid credit cards in the mail. He also gets loan offers for 10's of thousands of dollars every month due to his perfect credit rating. It's totally frustrating to keep seeing these letters, cresit cards and loan offers appearing every month in our mail box. You can't imagine what it's been like for the past 11 years seeing those letters pour in while we can't even get approved for a $100 loan.
Oh! And did I mention that my father-in-law has been dead for 11 years now?
Talk about unfair....
Uggghhh!
So it's no wonder why my credit is currently a bit wonky.
Last month my wife and I were forced to trade in our clunky Chevy Venture for a more economical and less troublesome car. Problem was, we couldn't trade in the car and buy a new one because of our credit. Frustrating to say the least. We finally managed to get a new Mitsubishi Lancer on lease, but the humiliation of being turned down for loans etc. was still there.
To make matters worse, practically every month for the past 11 years, my father-in-law keeps getting prepaid credit cards in the mail. He also gets loan offers for 10's of thousands of dollars every month due to his perfect credit rating. It's totally frustrating to keep seeing these letters, cresit cards and loan offers appearing every month in our mail box. You can't imagine what it's been like for the past 11 years seeing those letters pour in while we can't even get approved for a $100 loan.
Oh! And did I mention that my father-in-law has been dead for 11 years now?
Talk about unfair....
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
The Mysterious Link
Ever notice that when you have an urge to go to the bathroom, it just gets stronger the closer you get to a toilet?
You can just start out having a slight discomfort, alerting you that you have to go 'whiz' or 'potty'. So you start walking to the nearest facilities. However, the closer you get to the bathroom, the harder it is to walk. Now you're in a life or death situation. You just gotta get to the toilet because if you don't you're sure to soil yourself.
It's even worse when you're in your car driving home. You feel the urge while you're 5 miles from home. It's manageable, you can hold it. No sweat. You start getting to within a mile from home and the flatulence begins. Now you're feeling a bit uncomfortable, but you can handle it. By the time you're pulling into the driveway, it's a mad dash for the keys, fighting to find the right one, trying to fit the keys into the various locks on your door, gate etc... All this while excersing great muscular control over your buttocks. *Clench* find key *CLENCH* Wrong key *CLEEEENNNCCCHHH!!!!*** You run to the bathroom and practically tear off your clothes in a panic with a total disregard to whether or not you're tearing the material. Who cares?! You're in a cold sweat and you're sure you'll explode all over the bathroom unless you get the clothes OFF and relieve yourself.
You know it's happened to you.
Now what I don't get is why that doesn't happen when you're already home, watching TV or whatever?
I think the cause for all this discomfort is the iron in our blood. Somehow it sets up a magnetic link to whatever toilet is nearest to us. The closer the source of magnetism, the stronger the attraction. That's why it feels like you're going to explode the closer your bottom gets to the toilet seat.
Then again this could be one of those great mysteries of life we'll never figure out until we die and reach Heaven.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Club Med in the News
The following is a news article posted on April 18th, 2007 in The Port St. Lucie News. Before I get to it though, I'd like to provide some background on the situation.
On April 12, 2007 I was spending some leisure time since it was one of those rare occassions at Club Med: A Day Off. When I returned in the evening I noticed that there had been a meeting called for ALL employees. Something big was up.
I found out the next day that our beloved leader, Tom, had called all employees in to tell them what they were going to tell the guests regarding the restaurant. Tom wanted us to tell the guests that the restaurant was closed for 2 days due to a gas leak. All meals were to be served in the Florida Ballroom for the duration.
What really happened was that someone had tipped off the health inspectors (it wasn't me, I swear!) and they paid Sandydiaper a surprise visit. It didn't go well. The day before (despite what Club Med wants you to believe) we had a LARGE number of guests and employees calling in sick. People vomiting all over the village was the order of the day. Kids were throwing up all over the place, guests were calling for new sheets, toilet paper, bottles of water and the nurse all though the night. I counted 22 guests calling in sick that night. Employees ranked around 19. Yes, I did count.
On Wednesday April 17th, Tom sent out a 6 page letter to all employees thanking them for a memorable experience and praising us for the good job we did covering up for the restaurant problem.
The next day I go to work early in the morning. One of the girls from Boutique shows up to pick up the daily papers and asks me if I had seen the headlines. I took one look at the front page and nearly pissed myself laughing. I immediately bought a copy. Lucky I did, since Tom had the papers removed from the stands before the guests could buy them. Not that it did any good. We made photocopies galore.
(I had the only newspaper in the village) The news also came out over local radio and TV.
The best laid plans of Tom Keidel seemed to have exploded in his face. Before I went home for the day, we had about 8 dinner cancellations due to the report. One of them was a man who personally came in demanding a refund on his gift certificate. Lord knows how many more cancellations they had after I left.
All in all, it was the best good-bye present I could have gotten on my last day at Club Dread. Granted, I am still waiting for the lab results to come in. I still have abdominal pains and lack of appetite. My doctor suspects Salmonella. We'll see.
Here's the full version of the article posted on the Internet. The article in the newspaper didn't list the violations.
Violations briefly shut Club Med dining room in PSL
By CHRIS YOUNG
chris.young@scripps.com
April 18, 2007
PORT ST. LUCIE — State health inspectors briefly closed the main dining room at Club Med in Sandpiper Bay last week after a surprise inspection found numerous infractions, including live cockroaches around the facility.
As workers served breakfast at the resort on Thursday, a state Department of Business and Professional Regulation inspector found numerous health violations, including dozens of live cockroaches around the kitchen area, slime build-up inside the ice machine, and cooks touching cut fruit and sliced deli meat with their bare hands.
The inspector suspended Club Med's license and immediately shut the restaurant down. On a reinspection Friday morning, the violations were fixed and the facility reopened, said Alexis Antonacci, press secretary for the DBPR.
"We thought it was serious enough they needed to close down for a period of time," she said. The department typically follows up on closures the following day, she added.
Kate Moeller, a spokeswoman for Club Med who did not return calls for comment, responded by e-mail Friday that the restaurant had a "brief closure" on Thursday for "maintenance," but "guests were not affected."
"Guests enjoyed their usual high level of services and all community events went forward as scheduled," she wrote.
Last May, the Club Med site was listed for sale by a real estate firm, but resort officials said they only wanted to redevelop its existing 337-room facility at the southern end of
Club Med has owned the site since 1982, when it purchased the
In the last year, several prospective buyers have contacted city officials and the homeowners associations in the area with plans to redevelop Club Med, but to date a sale hasn't happened. Moeller said that the company has had initial talks to sell the land with Club Med continuing to operate at the site.
"Under such arrangement, Club Med would continue to operate the resort as Club Med Sandpiper," she wrote in a Tuesday e-mail.
During the closure Thursday, the resort appeared to operate normally, even hosting an annual banquet in a separate facility with local law enforcement, the Hundred Club of St. Lucie County, which raises money for law enforcement officers and firefighters killed or injured in the line of duty.
Jane Rowley, president of the club, said that the food was "great and presented nicely."
"No one got sick," she said.
Jim Moses, county environmental health director, said on Friday that he heard no reports of problems with Club Med's food facilities.
Vice Mayor Jack Kelly, touring the facilities recently, said he had "mixed emotions" about Club Med, saying it was an asset to the city, but has not aged well over the years.
Club Med's pool bar, inspected the same day, had six critical violations, including:
• Live cockroaches in the kitchen, including six in ovens, one in a light switch, four dozen in a molding and on the wall, two on clean dish racks holding clean dishes, and three baby roaches on the floor under a bulk rice bin.
• Repeat violation: wine/produce storage room had overhead lights missing the proper shield or cover.
• Repeat violation: chemical storage room door with its exit door with a hasp-style locking device that doesn't allow door to simply be pushed open.
• Cooks handling cut fruit and sliced deli meats with bare hands.
• Buildup of slime in the interior of the ice machine.
• Displayed hotel and restaurant license expired even though it was recently renewed.
• No sneezeguards/protection from contamination at the salad bar for cut oranges, ice cream cones and bagels.
• The salad bar lacked adequate sneezeguards/protection from contamination for apples, danish, and cut vegetables, as well as lacking proper dispensing utensils
• Black ants on the wall near the dish machine
• No handwashing sign by the sink used by employees.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Club Med is the best place to work...never!!!
Yep! Working for Club Med is definitely great...NOT!. I'm sorry, but I'm just too honest to be working in this cradle of bullshit. Let me explain.
For the most part the guests actually appreciate it when I speak to them frankly and tell them what's REALLY going on in regards to their requests. Some people complain that their rooms weren't what they asked for and they want to switch rooms. I tell them the truth. Right now we're in the midst of Spring Break and are at MAX capacity. Getting a reassignment is virtually impossible. They appreciate my honesty. I put their requests through anyway, just in case. No promises.
The same goes for any of their requests for housekeeping or maintenance. I tell them why it's taking so long for them to get extra sheets. We only have one girl in housekeeping at night covering the entire resort. She literally has to run all over the place to get things done. Again, they appreciate my honesty and the fact that I'm trying to solve their problems.
Even when I mess up, like I did yesterday, the guests appreciate my honesty. Case in point: the other night one of the guys from the restaurant brought me the usual load of stuff lost during dinner. Among these items was a digital camera. Usually, these things get written down in the Lost and Found book. I din't have the time or chance to do so. I was swamped with phone calls and checking in some guests. Not ten minutes later some guy comes in stating he left his camera in the restaurant and they told him it was at Reception. He described the camera as well. SO I gave it to him. What were the odds that it wasn't his? Turns out he wasn't the owner. The true owners came by in the morning really pissed that the camera was given to wrong person. I got called up at my room and had to come in to talk to them. Not a pleasing thought. I had gotten my ass chewed off by my manager by then. Even the Chef d' Village got involved. (that's French for Chief of Village i.e. Big Boss)
I showed up and gave them my apologies for the mess up. I explained everything to them. Amazingly, they understand and aren't angry with me. At least they're not yelling. I offer to walk around the village with them to see if I can spot the guy. I even stand in front of the restaurant for an hour checking to see if the guy walks in for lunch. Nothing. Just made me feel worse.
I get accused by some people (particularly from the Planning Manager) of not being professional. They don't approve of the way I deal with the guests like I've mentioned above. The Planning Manager prefers to give the guests snowjobs. She keeps claiming that I'm not professional. Yet SHE'S the one who books two families into the same room at the same time. Big bruhaha there. She also booked a family into two separate rooms. Each one on different floors. Not a usually bad thing as long as they're adults in both rooms. But no. The parents got the top room, their 6 year old daugther got the room downstairs. HELLO?! Brain-dead much? Now who's professional?
Or how about when she hides from the complaining guests afterwards and waits for them to leave the front desk so she can make a mad dash back into her office? Or when she calls me on the phone pretending to be housekeeping so that the guests can't figure out it's her I'm talking to? Professional? Not unless they changed the definition.
Guests spend most of their time complaining about her, my manager, and even some of my co-workers (don't get me started on them). Some might even complain about me, I'll admit. But a lot of them tell me to my face that they appreciate my help and honesty.
Now things have gotten hotter since they announced that all the Canadians who were going back home on April 30th will have to stay until September due to Visa restrictions. If any of them were to quit, they would never be able to get a work Visa ever again, thereby never getting to come back in the USA again. Needless to say there is some MAJOR upset going on. Just about every Canadian is shocked and upset about this statement. This is tantamount to forced labor. Work here and you're guaranteed more humiliation and abuse. Quit and you'll never work in the States again. WOW! What a choice!
Yep working here is great. Good thing the Chef d' Village is leaving this month to be replaced by what some claim to be a better one. At this point I think even a bag of cow dung would be better than he is. He's not very professional either. But that's another story.
As for me, I'll continue doing things as I always have. Honest and straightforward. I'm still looking for a way off this hellhole. Hopefully I'll find one soon.
More later.
For the most part the guests actually appreciate it when I speak to them frankly and tell them what's REALLY going on in regards to their requests. Some people complain that their rooms weren't what they asked for and they want to switch rooms. I tell them the truth. Right now we're in the midst of Spring Break and are at MAX capacity. Getting a reassignment is virtually impossible. They appreciate my honesty. I put their requests through anyway, just in case. No promises.
The same goes for any of their requests for housekeeping or maintenance. I tell them why it's taking so long for them to get extra sheets. We only have one girl in housekeeping at night covering the entire resort. She literally has to run all over the place to get things done. Again, they appreciate my honesty and the fact that I'm trying to solve their problems.
Even when I mess up, like I did yesterday, the guests appreciate my honesty. Case in point: the other night one of the guys from the restaurant brought me the usual load of stuff lost during dinner. Among these items was a digital camera. Usually, these things get written down in the Lost and Found book. I din't have the time or chance to do so. I was swamped with phone calls and checking in some guests. Not ten minutes later some guy comes in stating he left his camera in the restaurant and they told him it was at Reception. He described the camera as well. SO I gave it to him. What were the odds that it wasn't his? Turns out he wasn't the owner. The true owners came by in the morning really pissed that the camera was given to wrong person. I got called up at my room and had to come in to talk to them. Not a pleasing thought. I had gotten my ass chewed off by my manager by then. Even the Chef d' Village got involved. (that's French for Chief of Village i.e. Big Boss)
I showed up and gave them my apologies for the mess up. I explained everything to them. Amazingly, they understand and aren't angry with me. At least they're not yelling. I offer to walk around the village with them to see if I can spot the guy. I even stand in front of the restaurant for an hour checking to see if the guy walks in for lunch. Nothing. Just made me feel worse.
I get accused by some people (particularly from the Planning Manager) of not being professional. They don't approve of the way I deal with the guests like I've mentioned above. The Planning Manager prefers to give the guests snowjobs. She keeps claiming that I'm not professional. Yet SHE'S the one who books two families into the same room at the same time. Big bruhaha there. She also booked a family into two separate rooms. Each one on different floors. Not a usually bad thing as long as they're adults in both rooms. But no. The parents got the top room, their 6 year old daugther got the room downstairs. HELLO?! Brain-dead much? Now who's professional?
Or how about when she hides from the complaining guests afterwards and waits for them to leave the front desk so she can make a mad dash back into her office? Or when she calls me on the phone pretending to be housekeeping so that the guests can't figure out it's her I'm talking to? Professional? Not unless they changed the definition.
Guests spend most of their time complaining about her, my manager, and even some of my co-workers (don't get me started on them). Some might even complain about me, I'll admit. But a lot of them tell me to my face that they appreciate my help and honesty.
Now things have gotten hotter since they announced that all the Canadians who were going back home on April 30th will have to stay until September due to Visa restrictions. If any of them were to quit, they would never be able to get a work Visa ever again, thereby never getting to come back in the USA again. Needless to say there is some MAJOR upset going on. Just about every Canadian is shocked and upset about this statement. This is tantamount to forced labor. Work here and you're guaranteed more humiliation and abuse. Quit and you'll never work in the States again. WOW! What a choice!
Yep working here is great. Good thing the Chef d' Village is leaving this month to be replaced by what some claim to be a better one. At this point I think even a bag of cow dung would be better than he is. He's not very professional either. But that's another story.
As for me, I'll continue doing things as I always have. Honest and straightforward. I'm still looking for a way off this hellhole. Hopefully I'll find one soon.
More later.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Language is a Funny Thing
Got a phone call from a French guest a while back. It's one of my most memorable calls (right after The Big Black Beast).
GM: Yes, I'd like to make reequest for maintenance, please?
ME: Yes, ma'am. What's the problem?
GM: My douche isn't working.
(HEAVY PAUSE....)
ME: Excuse me?
GM: I say my DOUCHE isn't working.
ME: Your..douche? OHHHH!!! Your SHOWER!!???
GM: Oui, my shower!
ME: (Relieved) I'll have someone come and fix it right away.
You could imagine all the thoughts that ran through my head during that heavy pause:
1: Maybe you should shower more often
2: Try more vinegar less water
3: You don't need me, you need a gynecologist
Etc...Etc...Et Al....
GM: Yes, I'd like to make reequest for maintenance, please?
ME: Yes, ma'am. What's the problem?
GM: My douche isn't working.
(HEAVY PAUSE....)
ME: Excuse me?
GM: I say my DOUCHE isn't working.
ME: Your..douche? OHHHH!!! Your SHOWER!!???
GM: Oui, my shower!
ME: (Relieved) I'll have someone come and fix it right away.
You could imagine all the thoughts that ran through my head during that heavy pause:
1: Maybe you should shower more often
2: Try more vinegar less water
3: You don't need me, you need a gynecologist
Etc...Etc...Et Al....
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
The Big, Black Beast
Working at Club Med has its ups and downs as I've mentioned before. I personally like working the late night shift because that's when the really funny stuff happens. Sure, sometimes I get a raving maniac of a guest who insists on seeing my manager for some trifling thing or another, but for the most part the freaks really do come out at night.
My favorite case was about three weeks ago. An English guest (at least she sounded English) in room 101 calls me up at about 12:30am SCREAMING!!!!
Me: Front desk, this is Rio. How can I help you?
GM: THERE'S A BIG BLACK BEAST IN MY ROOM!!!
Me: Mam? What?
GM: THERE'S A BIG BLACK (undecipherable word in her native tongue?) IN MY ROOM!!! GET IT OUT!!! I CANNOT SLEEP WITH THAT ANIMAL IN MY ROOM!!!
Me: OK ma'am, I'll contact security and have them swing by your room and get the animal out
GM: YES!!! HURRY!! HURRY!! GET THE BEAST OUT OF HERE!!!
So I hang up thinking that maybe the raccoon that's been seen on site somehow snuck into her room. Or maybe a squirrel or one of the bats that was caught in the bar (another story). At the very least it must be some big rat, right?
So I call Edward at security. Now he's an old guy and I like him a lot. Not exactly the kind of guy I'd send to trap a Big Black Beast. But hey, I had little options at this hour. So Ed goes to the room. Meanwhile the GM calls me again:
GM: I want to move to another room. I cannot sleep in the same room as this animal.
Me: Ma'am, I just sent security over to take care of the situation and..
GM: Yes! I just want another room. I cannot sleep here tonight. I have a child and I am afraid of what might happen to the child and myself if we stay in the room with that big animal.
Me: OK ma'am, I'll contact my manager and see what we can come up with.
At this point I call my manager and she shows up a bit aggravated that I interrupted her fun at the bar. She nevertheless finds an available room to move the ranting GM to. At that point Big Ed shows up with a smirk on his face.
Ed: Rio, the Big Black beast she called in?
Me: Yeah?
Ed: Nothing more than a 2-inch gecko. He's hiding behind the bed somewhere and I can't get at him because the beds are attached to the wall. She's wants a new room.
Me: A gecko?! She's going nuts over a little gecko?
Boss: Ayyy!! I don't believe this woman. Que loca!
As my boss is about to walk out of the office the phone rings again
GM: (calmly now) I have decided I will not change rooms. I will stay here. I don't know how, but I will try to sleep with the animal in my room.
Me: Ma'am, we already set up a room for you to move to if you'd like..
GM No No, it's OK. I'll stay in this room. I'll try to sleep with the animal in the room. It's OK.
Me: Well ma'am, just keep in mind that gecko's aren't poisonous. They don't bite or anything. He just probably got trapped in your room while chasing after a big bug...
GM: THERE'S A BIG BUG IN MY ROOM?????!!!!!!!
There was no use in trying to explain to the woman that the gecko had probably already eaten the bug. She just hung up the phone. For all I know she spent the night huddled in a corner of her room with all the lights on, a slipper in one hand and a rolled up magazine in the other just looking for giant geckos or big old bugs.
My favorite case was about three weeks ago. An English guest (at least she sounded English) in room 101 calls me up at about 12:30am SCREAMING!!!!
Me: Front desk, this is Rio. How can I help you?
GM: THERE'S A BIG BLACK BEAST IN MY ROOM!!!
Me: Mam? What?
GM: THERE'S A BIG BLACK (undecipherable word in her native tongue?) IN MY ROOM!!! GET IT OUT!!! I CANNOT SLEEP WITH THAT ANIMAL IN MY ROOM!!!
Me: OK ma'am, I'll contact security and have them swing by your room and get the animal out
GM: YES!!! HURRY!! HURRY!! GET THE BEAST OUT OF HERE!!!
So I hang up thinking that maybe the raccoon that's been seen on site somehow snuck into her room. Or maybe a squirrel or one of the bats that was caught in the bar (another story). At the very least it must be some big rat, right?
So I call Edward at security. Now he's an old guy and I like him a lot. Not exactly the kind of guy I'd send to trap a Big Black Beast. But hey, I had little options at this hour. So Ed goes to the room. Meanwhile the GM calls me again:
GM: I want to move to another room. I cannot sleep in the same room as this animal.
Me: Ma'am, I just sent security over to take care of the situation and..
GM: Yes! I just want another room. I cannot sleep here tonight. I have a child and I am afraid of what might happen to the child and myself if we stay in the room with that big animal.
Me: OK ma'am, I'll contact my manager and see what we can come up with.
At this point I call my manager and she shows up a bit aggravated that I interrupted her fun at the bar. She nevertheless finds an available room to move the ranting GM to. At that point Big Ed shows up with a smirk on his face.
Ed: Rio, the Big Black beast she called in?
Me: Yeah?
Ed: Nothing more than a 2-inch gecko. He's hiding behind the bed somewhere and I can't get at him because the beds are attached to the wall. She's wants a new room.
Me: A gecko?! She's going nuts over a little gecko?
Boss: Ayyy!! I don't believe this woman. Que loca!
As my boss is about to walk out of the office the phone rings again
GM: (calmly now) I have decided I will not change rooms. I will stay here. I don't know how, but I will try to sleep with the animal in my room.
Me: Ma'am, we already set up a room for you to move to if you'd like..
GM No No, it's OK. I'll stay in this room. I'll try to sleep with the animal in the room. It's OK.
Me: Well ma'am, just keep in mind that gecko's aren't poisonous. They don't bite or anything. He just probably got trapped in your room while chasing after a big bug...
GM: THERE'S A BIG BUG IN MY ROOM?????!!!!!!!
There was no use in trying to explain to the woman that the gecko had probably already eaten the bug. She just hung up the phone. For all I know she spent the night huddled in a corner of her room with all the lights on, a slipper in one hand and a rolled up magazine in the other just looking for giant geckos or big old bugs.
Monday, March 5, 2007
Club Med...or is that Club Dread?
Been working at Club Med since early January of this year. It's been an interesting month and a half so far. But it is nothing like what they promised me back home. In fact, I feel like I've been lied to since day one. And I'm not the only one to feel this way.
I am what they call in Club Med a G.O. (Gracious Organizer). Nothing gracious about it. Our guests are called G.M's or Gracious Member. Nothing gracious about most of them either. For us G.O. stands for GET OUT!!!
They never mentioned the looong hours we have to put in every day. 16+ to be exact. We work our primary duties which last 8 hours. Then we do our secondary duties which include but are not limited to, dancing, performing on stage, handing out fruit, dressing up as pirates and menacing little kids, greeting people upon arrival or at the restaurant or any other number of trivial things. This could amount to another 8 hours a day or more. Did I mention that we don't get paid overtime? Well, not exactly. We get overtime when we work over 64 hours a week in our primary duties. Secondary don't count as work. Our salaries don't count for much either.
We get paid less than minimum wage. (Off the record, I get $620/month) Sure they claim they compensate us by giving us room and food and transporatation from wherever to here. Not as good a deal as they'd have you believe. Sure the food is great, the rooms are adequate but that's where the balance ends. Nevertheless, we get an average of much less than minimum wage. Oh yeah, we only get 1 day a week off. Sometimes my shift rotates. I could get off work at 11pm only to go back in at 7am. Sometimes we would have a staff meeting at 11pm that would last an hour. Then back to work at 7am. I can feel the yoke of slavery surrounding my neck.
You can't get off the site without paying a fair amount of cash for a private taxi. There are no buses here. Just going 1 mile away can cost you $12. Not much to see a mile away either. To really have fun you need to go to Stuart or Vero Beach. Orlando could cost you over $280.
Housekeeping cleans our rooms once a week. Sweet deal right? Wrong. I was informed by housekeeping that they were instructed to give us the sheets and towels that are in the worst condition. Our guests get the better stuff of course. We're low on the totem. Our requests for service or maintenance either take days or weeks or go unanswered altogether. There are rooms that are so covered in mildew it's pathetic. No one comes to clean it up. There are ant infestations in our rooms and even in the rooms of the guests. Who gets the fumigation? Yep, the guests. And those ants aren't the teeny variety either. These suckers are the size of your fingernail. I'm one of the luckier ones. My room is pretty much in good condition and I try to keep it that way. The bed is a bit hard and the pillows too thin, but I've learned to double up the pillows in one case and to put a foam pad over the mattress.
We aren't allowed to eat alone or with each other. We MUST eat with a guest. We are not allowed to group together without including a guest. This is probably to keep us from comparing notes in public. We only get about a half hour to eat. It takes about 10-15 minutes to find a place to sit. Some guests don't want you with them. Others have a full table. Still others already have one or two GO's sitting there. SO by the time you find a place to sit, you have about 10 minutes to wolf down your food, socialize with the guests etc. before getting back to your post.
A while back a friend of mine had some guy enter her room and attempt to rape her. He somehow managed to get a key to her room. She wasn't allowed to call the cops on him. She did anyway. Club Med immediately down-played the whole thing to the cops stating that it was a "lovers quarrel". They said she had previously had sexual relations with the guy and had just refused to "put out" to him that night. The guy actually admitted to having snuck into her room and trying to rape her. The case was swept under the proverbial carpet. The guy was never punished or fired for what he did. The girl's reputation was forever tarnished. She had never slept with the guy. A month later she was fired on trumped-up charges. She was accused of embezzlement. Money kept "disappearing" from her cash drawer. This happens frequently in our department, since people keep dipping into each other's drawers to give change or charge guests, etc. It's already happened to me once (short $270). I have since put a lock on my drawer whenever I leave.
Last week they posted a sign on the employee bulletin board stating that sexual harassment or attacks are against the law and punishable. They still haven't punished anyone.
Someone broke into a girl's room and not only stole her stuff, they stole her safe as well. No leads as of yet. It's obvious to everyone but management that someone has a master key and is using it. Still nothing is done.
Another employee had a major drug smuggling ring going on right in the village. He was caught, but in order to prevent news of this from getting out, the Chief of Village refused to press charges. He just fired the Jamaican and that was that. The guy had major ounces of marijuana in his room. Enough to get him sent to jail for a long time. But that would have negative press, right?
They had negative press back in November when a van of illegal immigrants employed by Club Med was stopped and all it's occupants (15 of them) were deported.
Drinking here is a problem as well. And not just the guests over-indulging either. We have some pretty funny drunken situations here among the employees. I'm surprised these kids can get up in the mornings. And I do mean kids. Some of these guys are under 21. That doesn't stop them from getting drunk. If they get caught drinking, they get scolded. It's OK if they drink in their rooms though. Just don't get caught in the Village. Is this some kind of double standard? Of course some of them get drunk in their rooms then come into the Village totally sloshed and cause problems. But since they have no liquor on them (just in them) it's OK, right?
Management downplays everything here. From the low salaries ("if you work here it isn't because of the salary. You have to love providing service to our guests"), to the lack of understanding and support ("Welcome to Club Med").
That one little phrase is the catchall for everything negative here. Something is unfair to you? "Welcome to Club Med". Hours too long? "Welcome to Club Med". Salary too low? "Welcome to Club Med".
Don't get me wrong though. I do like the job in itself. It is fun here. I meet new people everyday and my co-workers are mostly OK. There are some exceptions of course, but it balances out in the end.
So why don't I leave here? Simple. I can't afford anyplace to live just yet. I need a car to get around, a place to live and a new job. The new job is simple enough to find I suppose. But without a car how do I get there. No buses, remember? And where will I live in the meantime? Not Club Med. So for the meantime I'm stuck here until I can find a place to live and a car. Saving as much money as I can from my meager salary of $670 a month (before taxes) to at least have a down payment for an apartment and a car. Impossible?
Welcome to Club Med....
I am what they call in Club Med a G.O. (Gracious Organizer). Nothing gracious about it. Our guests are called G.M's or Gracious Member. Nothing gracious about most of them either. For us G.O. stands for GET OUT!!!
They never mentioned the looong hours we have to put in every day. 16+ to be exact. We work our primary duties which last 8 hours. Then we do our secondary duties which include but are not limited to, dancing, performing on stage, handing out fruit, dressing up as pirates and menacing little kids, greeting people upon arrival or at the restaurant or any other number of trivial things. This could amount to another 8 hours a day or more. Did I mention that we don't get paid overtime? Well, not exactly. We get overtime when we work over 64 hours a week in our primary duties. Secondary don't count as work. Our salaries don't count for much either.
We get paid less than minimum wage. (Off the record, I get $620/month) Sure they claim they compensate us by giving us room and food and transporatation from wherever to here. Not as good a deal as they'd have you believe. Sure the food is great, the rooms are adequate but that's where the balance ends. Nevertheless, we get an average of much less than minimum wage. Oh yeah, we only get 1 day a week off. Sometimes my shift rotates. I could get off work at 11pm only to go back in at 7am. Sometimes we would have a staff meeting at 11pm that would last an hour. Then back to work at 7am. I can feel the yoke of slavery surrounding my neck.
You can't get off the site without paying a fair amount of cash for a private taxi. There are no buses here. Just going 1 mile away can cost you $12. Not much to see a mile away either. To really have fun you need to go to Stuart or Vero Beach. Orlando could cost you over $280.
Housekeeping cleans our rooms once a week. Sweet deal right? Wrong. I was informed by housekeeping that they were instructed to give us the sheets and towels that are in the worst condition. Our guests get the better stuff of course. We're low on the totem. Our requests for service or maintenance either take days or weeks or go unanswered altogether. There are rooms that are so covered in mildew it's pathetic. No one comes to clean it up. There are ant infestations in our rooms and even in the rooms of the guests. Who gets the fumigation? Yep, the guests. And those ants aren't the teeny variety either. These suckers are the size of your fingernail. I'm one of the luckier ones. My room is pretty much in good condition and I try to keep it that way. The bed is a bit hard and the pillows too thin, but I've learned to double up the pillows in one case and to put a foam pad over the mattress.
We aren't allowed to eat alone or with each other. We MUST eat with a guest. We are not allowed to group together without including a guest. This is probably to keep us from comparing notes in public. We only get about a half hour to eat. It takes about 10-15 minutes to find a place to sit. Some guests don't want you with them. Others have a full table. Still others already have one or two GO's sitting there. SO by the time you find a place to sit, you have about 10 minutes to wolf down your food, socialize with the guests etc. before getting back to your post.
A while back a friend of mine had some guy enter her room and attempt to rape her. He somehow managed to get a key to her room. She wasn't allowed to call the cops on him. She did anyway. Club Med immediately down-played the whole thing to the cops stating that it was a "lovers quarrel". They said she had previously had sexual relations with the guy and had just refused to "put out" to him that night. The guy actually admitted to having snuck into her room and trying to rape her. The case was swept under the proverbial carpet. The guy was never punished or fired for what he did. The girl's reputation was forever tarnished. She had never slept with the guy. A month later she was fired on trumped-up charges. She was accused of embezzlement. Money kept "disappearing" from her cash drawer. This happens frequently in our department, since people keep dipping into each other's drawers to give change or charge guests, etc. It's already happened to me once (short $270). I have since put a lock on my drawer whenever I leave.
Last week they posted a sign on the employee bulletin board stating that sexual harassment or attacks are against the law and punishable. They still haven't punished anyone.
Someone broke into a girl's room and not only stole her stuff, they stole her safe as well. No leads as of yet. It's obvious to everyone but management that someone has a master key and is using it. Still nothing is done.
Another employee had a major drug smuggling ring going on right in the village. He was caught, but in order to prevent news of this from getting out, the Chief of Village refused to press charges. He just fired the Jamaican and that was that. The guy had major ounces of marijuana in his room. Enough to get him sent to jail for a long time. But that would have negative press, right?
They had negative press back in November when a van of illegal immigrants employed by Club Med was stopped and all it's occupants (15 of them) were deported.
Drinking here is a problem as well. And not just the guests over-indulging either. We have some pretty funny drunken situations here among the employees. I'm surprised these kids can get up in the mornings. And I do mean kids. Some of these guys are under 21. That doesn't stop them from getting drunk. If they get caught drinking, they get scolded. It's OK if they drink in their rooms though. Just don't get caught in the Village. Is this some kind of double standard? Of course some of them get drunk in their rooms then come into the Village totally sloshed and cause problems. But since they have no liquor on them (just in them) it's OK, right?
Management downplays everything here. From the low salaries ("if you work here it isn't because of the salary. You have to love providing service to our guests"), to the lack of understanding and support ("Welcome to Club Med").
That one little phrase is the catchall for everything negative here. Something is unfair to you? "Welcome to Club Med". Hours too long? "Welcome to Club Med". Salary too low? "Welcome to Club Med".
Don't get me wrong though. I do like the job in itself. It is fun here. I meet new people everyday and my co-workers are mostly OK. There are some exceptions of course, but it balances out in the end.
So why don't I leave here? Simple. I can't afford anyplace to live just yet. I need a car to get around, a place to live and a new job. The new job is simple enough to find I suppose. But without a car how do I get there. No buses, remember? And where will I live in the meantime? Not Club Med. So for the meantime I'm stuck here until I can find a place to live and a car. Saving as much money as I can from my meager salary of $670 a month (before taxes) to at least have a down payment for an apartment and a car. Impossible?
Welcome to Club Med....
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