A Solution to the Rising Costs of Gasoline

As of the time of this posting, oil is now at $137/barrel. Gas is somewhere around $3.83 a gallon. And the worst is, the numbers keep rising with no end in sight.

Lots of talk has been bandied about regarding alternative fuel sources. Ethanol, methanol, hydrogen to name the most popular ones.

The rise in ethanol production has now caused a shortage on grains, causing a food shortage where there should be none. Walmart limits the purchase of rice to one bag per customer. This is just a preview of the crap that is to come.

Now I have an idea for an alternative fuel source that is readily available and get this: FREE!!! That's right ladies and gents, FREE!!! What is this miraculous fuel source? Believe it or not, its urine.

Yep, urine, pee, piss, kidney byproduct.

Now before you start wrinkling your noses in disgust, think about it. The chemical components of urine are what? Nitrogen and ammonia. What do race cars use to get a burst of speed? Nitrous Oxide. It seems to me that if we can find a way to build an engine that takes regular nitrogen and converts it to fuel we'll shoot the fuel problem dead in its tracks.

All you have to do is piss directly into the tank and you can go wherever you want. OK the ladies are complaining that they can't actually stand up and piss into the tank like us guys. For the ladies we can set up a funnel device that provides comfort and privacy (you can do it without getting out of the vehicle). Instead of going to the toilet and flushing it all away, you can instead flush it into a holding/processing tank for later consumption. You can have your own fueling station in your driveway!!!

Sure, the smell would be a bit worse than the smell at a regular gas station, but anyone who's walked by a dark alley has smelled the aroma before. We can adapt and get used to it. After all, IT'S FREE!

Also think of the benefits. You can save money on medical visits. Just go to the gas station and have the attendant check your levels.

"You're about a quart low, your triglycerides are a bit high, you HDL, VDL and LDL are all within normal parameters but your glucose is a bit high."

Of course, for those diehard drivers of high performance vehicles, regular fuel just doesn't cut it. They need PREMIUM. For them we'd have to find a way to process CRAP! Which brings us back to methanol...

But that's a whole 'nother story.....

LifeLock Fails to Live Up to its Hype

To start with, here's a snippet from a report from Associated Press today:

SAN JOSE, Calif. - Todd Davis has dared criminals for two years to try stealing his identity: Ads for his fraud-prevention company, LifeLock, even offer his Social Security number next to his smiling mug.
Customers in Maryland, New Jersey and West Virginia are suing Davis, claiming his service didn't work as promised and he knew it wouldn't, because the service had failed even him.

All I have to say about this is: BWAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've said it from DAY 1. This guy is just asking to have his ass handed to him on a silver platter. I was hoping, NAY PRAYING, that some hacker would come and beat his stupid challenge. And someone finally did. Actually, 87 someones:

Davis acknowledged in an interview with The Associated Press that his stunt has led to at least 87 instances in which people have tried to steal his identity, and one succeeded: a guy in Texas who duped an online payday loan operation last year into giving him $500 using Davis' Social Security number.

People this dumb shouldn't be allowed outdoors, let alone run a large business such as this. I can only attribute his stupidity to inbreeding. No one in his right mind would ever set himself up for failure like this. Now he's got people suing him for the $1 million dollar guarantee because their asses got fried too.

Get it through your head, no one can guarantee the safety of your identity but you. But don't take my word for it:

Paul Stephens, director of policy and advocacy with the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse, a nonprofit consumer advocacy organization says:

"There is no company that can guarantee they can protect you (completely) against identity theft. Absolutely nobody can do that."

'Nuff said!