As of the time of this posting, oil is now at $137/barrel. Gas is somewhere around $3.83 a gallon. And the worst is, the numbers keep rising with no end in sight.
Lots of talk has been bandied about regarding alternative fuel sources. Ethanol, methanol, hydrogen to name the most popular ones.
The rise in ethanol production has now caused a shortage on grains, causing a food shortage where there should be none. Walmart limits the purchase of rice to one bag per customer. This is just a preview of the crap that is to come.
Now I have an idea for an alternative fuel source that is readily available and get this: FREE!!! That's right ladies and gents, FREE!!! What is this miraculous fuel source? Believe it or not, its urine.
Yep, urine, pee, piss, kidney byproduct.
Now before you start wrinkling your noses in disgust, think about it. The chemical components of urine are what? Nitrogen and ammonia. What do race cars use to get a burst of speed? Nitrous Oxide. It seems to me that if we can find a way to build an engine that takes regular nitrogen and converts it to fuel we'll shoot the fuel problem dead in its tracks.
All you have to do is piss directly into the tank and you can go wherever you want. OK the ladies are complaining that they can't actually stand up and piss into the tank like us guys. For the ladies we can set up a funnel device that provides comfort and privacy (you can do it without getting out of the vehicle). Instead of going to the toilet and flushing it all away, you can instead flush it into a holding/processing tank for later consumption. You can have your own fueling station in your driveway!!!
Sure, the smell would be a bit worse than the smell at a regular gas station, but anyone who's walked by a dark alley has smelled the aroma before. We can adapt and get used to it. After all, IT'S FREE!
Also think of the benefits. You can save money on medical visits. Just go to the gas station and have the attendant check your levels.
"You're about a quart low, your triglycerides are a bit high, you HDL, VDL and LDL are all within normal parameters but your glucose is a bit high."
Of course, for those diehard drivers of high performance vehicles, regular fuel just doesn't cut it. They need PREMIUM. For them we'd have to find a way to process CRAP! Which brings us back to methanol...
But that's a whole 'nother story.....
1 comment:
Failed chemistry, huh?
Sorry, dude.
1) What makes cars go is the "Oxide" in the "Nitrous", not the Nitrogen. That gas is inert. And we are going to be needing the Oxygen pretty soon so don't start burning it up for speed-goosings...
2) Ladies don't need funnels, just adjustment (reorientation), and a little practice. The problem is you are thinking in male terms. Ladies can piss further and more accurately than any guy, but they do so to the back. The way it works is you bend over and reach out under to "clear the way" with your fingers. Do not stand behind her while she's doing this. A healthy girl can reach further and more powerfully than ANY guy. I have $100.00 for anyone who can prove otherwise. See, it's all in the plumbing. (I told you not to skip biology either!)
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