The Big, Black Beast

Working at Club Med has its ups and downs as I've mentioned before. I personally like working the late night shift because that's when the really funny stuff happens. Sure, sometimes I get a raving maniac of a guest who insists on seeing my manager for some trifling thing or another, but for the most part the freaks really do come out at night.

My favorite case was about three weeks ago. An English guest (at least she sounded English) in room 101 calls me up at about 12:30am SCREAMING!!!!

Me: Front desk, this is Rio. How can I help you?
GM: THERE'S A BIG BLACK BEAST IN MY ROOM!!!
Me: Mam? What?
GM: THERE'S A BIG BLACK (undecipherable word in her native tongue?) IN MY ROOM!!! GET IT OUT!!! I CANNOT SLEEP WITH THAT ANIMAL IN MY ROOM!!!
Me: OK ma'am, I'll contact security and have them swing by your room and get the animal out
GM: YES!!! HURRY!! HURRY!! GET THE BEAST OUT OF HERE!!!

So I hang up thinking that maybe the raccoon that's been seen on site somehow snuck into her room. Or maybe a squirrel or one of the bats that was caught in the bar (another story). At the very least it must be some big rat, right?

So I call Edward at security. Now he's an old guy and I like him a lot. Not exactly the kind of guy I'd send to trap a Big Black Beast. But hey, I had little options at this hour. So Ed goes to the room. Meanwhile the GM calls me again:

GM: I want to move to another room. I cannot sleep in the same room as this animal.
Me: Ma'am, I just sent security over to take care of the situation and..
GM: Yes! I just want another room. I cannot sleep here tonight. I have a child and I am afraid of what might happen to the child and myself if we stay in the room with that big animal.
Me: OK ma'am, I'll contact my manager and see what we can come up with.

At this point I call my manager and she shows up a bit aggravated that I interrupted her fun at the bar. She nevertheless finds an available room to move the ranting GM to. At that point Big Ed shows up with a smirk on his face.

Ed: Rio, the Big Black beast she called in?
Me: Yeah?
Ed: Nothing more than a 2-inch gecko. He's hiding behind the bed somewhere and I can't get at him because the beds are attached to the wall. She's wants a new room.
Me: A gecko?! She's going nuts over a little gecko?
Boss: Ayyy!! I don't believe this woman. Que loca!

As my boss is about to walk out of the office the phone rings again

GM: (calmly now) I have decided I will not change rooms. I will stay here. I don't know how, but I will try to sleep with the animal in my room.
Me: Ma'am, we already set up a room for you to move to if you'd like..
GM No No, it's OK. I'll stay in this room. I'll try to sleep with the animal in the room. It's OK.
Me: Well ma'am, just keep in mind that gecko's aren't poisonous. They don't bite or anything. He just probably got trapped in your room while chasing after a big bug...
GM: THERE'S A BIG BUG IN MY ROOM?????!!!!!!!

There was no use in trying to explain to the woman that the gecko had probably already eaten the bug. She just hung up the phone. For all I know she spent the night huddled in a corner of her room with all the lights on, a slipper in one hand and a rolled up magazine in the other just looking for giant geckos or big old bugs.